Ok, so before you keep reading, let me just warn you by saying this is a bit of a drag of a blog..
I've been having a difficult time dealing with my 'fat' pregnant body the last couple weeks.. Some might say 'oh thats how everyone feels'.. Maybe so, but I decided that, to help get those feelings off my chest, I would explain why it is so hard for me being 'fat' right now. First, let me say, that when I was pregnant with Kennedy, I was soo excited to be getting a big pregnant belly (& everything that comes along with it), & tried hard to make sure I was eating well for my little baby & I... & IT WORKED!!! I gained 60+ lbs while pregnant with kennedy (went from 120 lbs, to 180+ lbs at delivery). It took me quite a while to get most of my 'baby fat' off. I finally got back about down to a somewhat comfortable weight when Kennedy was 18 months old (September 2008).
September was not only a month to remember being (mostly) 'baby fat' free.. September is when pregnancy #2 began. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I miscarried preg #2 at about 12 weeks. Somehow, I managed to have already gained just under 15 lbs when I miscarried. As anyone can imagine (especially any who has also experienced something similar), I had officially hit my low when this happened.. Sunk into a deep depression & didn't know how to be 'happy' for quite some time. Having that extra baby fat, without a cute little baby, sure didn't make things easier.
Luckily, I had the support of so many loving family members (Kodi, mom, Tiff, Jani, Rachael, & so many others...) & the love of my sweet little Kennedy! Kennedy definitely made those gloomy days brighter. A few weeks after I miscarried & was given the 'ok' to get back to normal physical activity. I decided I needed an attitude adjustment. I decided it might help me feel a little better if I got back into better physical shape. I was SERIOUS about this. I kicked it into high gear. I saw my goal & there was no stopping me getting there. I ran 4 - 5 miles on the treadmill 4 days a week. Did 30 min of Wii fit boxing & hula hooping any day I hadn't taken to the treadmill & on some days that I had. I got back to my usual routine of drinking 10+ glasses of water a day, & started eating healthy all week, with the exception of 'treats' 1 or 2 days a week. I ended up losing 20 lbs in 6 - 8 weeks & was back at my Pre - Kennedy baby weight! I felt amazing, & although I couldn't bring back the loss of pregnancy #2, it helped my overall feelings for myself & my outlook on life.
2 months later, I found out I was now expecting another baby (pregnancy #3). This was WONDERFUL news & I am so happy to be giving Kennedy a sibling (which she desperately wants & needs). But, I still admit, I miss my skinny body that seemed short lived. This pregnancy has been so different than when I was pregnant with Kennedy. I have been SOO emotional & have had no appetite whatsoever. On days that I've been having a 'melt down', I've dwelled a bit on my 'fat' body. So, this is my final goodbye to those 'fat' body dwellings. There is no need for such sillyness & I just need to be greatful for all the positive things in my life. Wish me luck!
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