Reminder of 'skinnyness'

22 February 2009

In trying to say goodbye to dwelling on my 'fat' body, I thought it might help for me to post some pics of my 'skinny' body that I worked so hard for. Maybe if I look at this when I start to even think about dwelling on negatives, I can remember that it IS possible for me to get down to my pre baby weight, again, after this baby.

My mom took these pics one day (February 22) while we were in Delta. It was fun to have a mini 'photo shoot' & although they aren't professional, I'd say we did a pretty good job :)

A need to whine & let go..

Ok, so before you keep reading, let me just warn you by saying this is a bit of a drag of a blog..

I've been having a difficult time dealing with my 'fat' pregnant body the last couple weeks.. Some might say 'oh thats how everyone feels'.. Maybe so, but I decided that, to help get those feelings off my chest, I would explain why it is so hard for me being 'fat' right now.

First, let me say, that when I was pregnant with Kennedy, I was soo excited to be getting a big pregnant belly (& everything that comes along with it), & tried hard to make sure I was eating well for my little baby & I... & IT WORKED!!! I gained 60+ lbs while pregnant with kennedy (went from 120 lbs, to 180+ lbs at delivery). It took me quite a while to get most of my 'baby fat' off. I finally got back about down to a somewhat comfortable weight when Kennedy was 18 months old (September 2008).

September was not only a month to remember being (mostly) 'baby fat' free.. September is when pregnancy #2 began. As I mentioned in a previous blog, I miscarried preg #2 at about 12 weeks. Somehow, I managed to have already gained just under 15 lbs when I miscarried. As anyone can imagine (especially any who has also experienced something similar), I had officially hit my low when this happened.. Sunk into a deep depression & didn't know how to be 'happy' for quite some time. Having that extra baby fat, without a cute little baby, sure didn't make things easier.

Luckily, I had the support of so many loving family members (Kodi, mom, Tiff, Jani, Rachael, & so many others...) & the love of my sweet little Kennedy! Kennedy definitely made those gloomy days brighter. A few weeks after I miscarried & was given the 'ok' to get back to normal physical activity. I decided I needed an attitude adjustment. I decided it might help me feel a little better if I got back into better physical shape. I was SERIOUS about this. I kicked it into high gear. I saw my goal & there was no stopping me getting there. I ran 4 - 5 miles on the treadmill 4 days a week. Did 30 min of Wii fit boxing & hula hooping any day I hadn't taken to the treadmill & on some days that I had. I got back to my usual routine of drinking 10+ glasses of water a day, & started eating healthy all week, with the exception of 'treats' 1 or 2 days a week. I ended up losing 20 lbs in 6 - 8 weeks & was back at my Pre - Kennedy baby weight! I felt amazing, & although I couldn't bring back the loss of pregnancy #2, it helped my overall feelings for myself & my outlook on life.

2 months later, I found out I was now expecting another baby (pregnancy #3). This was WONDERFUL news & I am so happy to be giving Kennedy a sibling (which she desperately wants & needs). But, I still admit, I miss my skinny body that seemed short lived. This pregnancy has been so different than when I was pregnant with Kennedy. I have been SOO emotional & have had no appetite whatsoever. On days that I've been having a 'melt down', I've dwelled a bit on my 'fat' body. So, this is my final goodbye to those 'fat' body dwellings. There is no need for such sillyness & I just need to be greatful for all the positive things in my life. Wish me luck!